we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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