I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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