I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
