yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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