Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
