My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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