just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
