the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
