I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got inside last night via doggy door
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
