Your mouth is God's brothel.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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