I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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