he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
