Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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