it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
