you mean i was at the winter classic?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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