but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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