my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
