If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Did you just see the Batmobile???
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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