Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
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