oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I deserve this hangover.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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