I wish I only lived at night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your cock deserves a montage
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
