You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
