sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
