Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
