Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
