rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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