So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
