debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
3pm strippers are depressing
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
