Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
