This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
