I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's blow job season.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
