John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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