If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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