the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
