I met the friendliest cop last night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
