He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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