I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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