just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
