If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
