i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
