i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
