Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
