Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
