remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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