Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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