I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
