Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
