I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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