Pants 0. Shit 1.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
