my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
