No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
