my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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