whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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