I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
