whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm too high and old for this...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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