We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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