she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Randomize
