Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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